SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
Randomize
