so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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