Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
Randomize
