okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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