just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
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