What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
Did you just see the Batmobile???
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
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