No awkward lesbian experiences without me
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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