I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
Randomize
