She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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