I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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