I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
Randomize
