im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
Randomize
