pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
Randomize
