3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
Randomize
