very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
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