im gay
i know
yea but for you.
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
Randomize
