And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
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