I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
