Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
Randomize
