yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
Randomize
