its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
