I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
Randomize
