Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
Randomize
