I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
