I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
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