I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
