Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
Randomize
