i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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