Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
He is an equal opportunity slut.
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
Randomize
