so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
I stole a fireplace last night.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
Randomize
