Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
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