U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Randomize
