Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
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