i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
I still have a little drunk in my system
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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