im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
It was confusing and full of hummus
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize
