I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
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