She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
Randomize
