69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
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