The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
Randomize
