Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
