i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
