apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
Randomize
