i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
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