TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
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