She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
Randomize
