I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize
