i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
