people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
