There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
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