how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
Randomize
