Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
